Who is the Divorced D20 Dad?
I’m the guy who was told in Jan 2012 by my (then wife) “Catherine” that after 10+ years of marriage my services as a husband would no longer be required. When I started the blog 2 weeks later in attempt to work through the confusion I was feeling. I later discovered she’d been having an affair. Ugh.
Now that I’ve been writing the blog a while it’s interesting to see the “character arc” of the tone of the articles (pain/confusion/despair to anger to acceptance and the latest rants have been more comedic exasperation.
You can see the short version of what happened on the Timeline page.
I’m in my mid-40s, living in Silicon Valley, CA and have two young beautiful daughters.
Who is the family?
I’m changing the names of everyone in the blog to protect the family. But here’s the run down:
- Me (aka “Henry”): mid-40’s guy informed by his wife in early 2012 that, “…I cannot be married to you.”
- “Catherine”: mid-40s soon to be ex-wife of “Henry” and mother of Henry’s two daughters.
- “Mary”: 8-year old daughter of Henry and Catherine. Spirited and sensitive.
- “Elizabeth”: 6-year old daughter of Henry and Catherine. Quiet and pensive.
- “Charles”, the childhood friend of me (“Henry”) who moved in with after the divorce (from June 2012 – Oct 2012).
are you did you get divorced?
Updated: Because it seems I had no choice. When I originally started writing this blog I was doing all I could to save my marriage and keep my family in tact. Once I discovered in April 2012 that she’d been having an affair since Dec 2011 (while saying she was trying to work on our marriage) we both realized that our marriage was beyond hope. In her words, “We are too broken.”
Why can’t your wife stay married to you?
Jan 2011: I’m sure that will come out in the blogs over time. For now, the short version is: she doesn’t want to.
Update April 5, 2012: I’ve since discovered she’s also been having an affair since Nov 2011. That certainly didn’t help.
Update Nov 25 2012: Our divorce is now final. Done deal.
Why are you writing this blog?
Jan 2012: Because I like writing; I’m hoping writing about this experience will help me get through the grief. I doubt it will get much readership as I’m not doing much to promote and will be writing anonymously, but hopefully it might prove helpful or give insight to other divorcing dads out there.
Nov 2012: Well the divorce is now final. I continue to write this blog because this really has been a long journey through a lot of emotions which, even though the marriage is over, the journey is not yet complete. I still feel there is healing left to do. By writing this blog (and interacting via the Twitter account that accompanies it) I’ve met dozens of friends whom I hope to keep for a lifetime.