Ode to Fabulous Internet Girls

In the last several posts you’ve heard me refer to the Fabulous Internet Girls, and you may be thinking, who are these Fabulous Internet Girls (FIGs), why is “Henry” so smitten with them and how can I meet and/or become one?

Well here’s the good news, you may already be one! Here’s a quick test to see if you’re a Fabulous Internet Girl:

  • Are you reading this blog right now? (Of course you are, that was easy…) Almost all of the FIGs I’ve met have been through Henry’s Twitter account
  • Do you have a vagina? I know I have a few male readers, and while I appreciate all readers, this post isn’t about you.BTW, If your vagina has a tendency to talk, a la #SaidMyVagina then you can stop checking right now: You are already a confirmed  Fabulous Internet Girl
  • Have we ever met in real life? If we have, doesn’t mean you’re not fabulous, or an internet girl, but not a “Fabulous Internet Girl” for purposes of this article
  • Do you write on twitter anonymously? Have we starred/replied/DM’d tweets a few times? You’re probably a FIG. There are two exceptions to this rule (they know who they are…)
  • Do I know your real name? Do you know my real name? If yes to either of these, you’re probably still a FIG, but one with whom I’ve started to build trust. (For the record, I think I’ve divulged my real name to 3 FIGs… you know who you are…)

So there it is. You may be a FIG, you may not, either way, the point is, they’re out there and fabulous and I’ve become big fans of several of them. Here is why I’ve become such a big fan of their tweets, blogs, and (when I’m lucky) DM, emails and in one rare case actual “virtual chat”:

  • You’re funny. Because many of you are writing anonymously, you’re openness and candor is refreshing. I know there’s a couple of FIGs I follow that are purposely trying to “just be funny” while keeping details of their real life in shadow. Whethere you’re “on-stage” full-time or sometimes interjecting real life into the stream, you’re a funny bunch of women.
  • You’re confident. Even those that sometimes post about insecurities, pain, or vulnerabilities, there is a confidence in your writing that is strong and attractive
  • You’re sensitive. With only one exception, most of the FIGs I’m a fan of intersperse “funny on-stage” version of you with real-life foibles (and even One Exception has shared enough in a few DM’s Emails to keep her fabulous). It makes you real, even in a predominantly anon world. For the most part the few FIGs I’ve actually shared emails/DMs with have been very supporting and sensitive, surprisingly so, even while maintaining the “this account is anon me, you can’t really talk to real me” distance
  • You’re a writer. Even if you’re only doing tweets and not keeping a blog, you are writing (albeit perhaps only 140 characters at a time.) I’m a writer! I love writers. Smart is sexy!

I think what I find most interesting about the FIGs—and this is especially true for the anon FIGs—is how protective some of these women are about separating the anon personas from the real personas. I’m assuming the anonymity provides some sort of emotional shield to protect themselves from…hurt? Breaches of trust? I’m not always sure.

I think the irony is feel I can be closer and more honest with these people now than if we’d actually had small-talk in some sort of online-dating or just-met-at-party type scenario. One of my top 5 FIGS (and when I say Top 5 I mean in terms of how I’d rank how much I appreciate them… I’ve no idea how FIGs rank me, in most instances FIGs are probably not “ranking” me at all, I’m just one of their 100s or 1000s of followers…) Anyway, this particular FIG, whom I do think actually gives a hoot about me, gave me some strong advice: “Guard your heart.” In almost all instances I see FIGs carefully guarding their hearts while also speaking about loneliness. Understandable, but makes me a bit sad. It makes me wonder, especially in the cases where we’ve had some rapport (or at least I think we had rapport) would we even have this much if we met under a more mundane situation? If the fates are kind and we do one day meet, will I need to pretend I don’t know about your habits, desires, likes & dislikes because those would not have been posted on your OK Cupid profile, but flowed freely when anon?

But what about you, sir!?! You’re writing anonymously now, are you not a pot pointing at black kettles? Yes and no. I’m writing anonymously not necessarily to protect me (although that is true in a professional sense, not really keen for my current or future employers to read my lamentations on my sex life), but from a personal perspective more about my ex “Catherine.” While I don’t mind venting about her indiscretions in disguise, I would never disparage her openly in public. Her friends and our families do not need to know the details.

As always, I digress.

Want to close with this though: you Fabulous Internet Girls have been a wonderful distraction; funny and witty and smart. You are strong and passionate and alluring. I’m lucky to have met you, even if just online.I really hope that I do get to meet one or two of you in real life one day.

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8 responses to “Ode to Fabulous Internet Girls

  1. Pingback: “Of course you’re damaged goods!” « Divorced D20 Dad

  2. Pingback: “Lots of people commit adultery!” « Divorced D20 Dad

  3. I’m all a flutter. I’m a FIG! Thank you. We have connected on a couple of these levels and I have to comment about the whole anon thing. I tried to blog anon at first and it caused more stress trying to separate worlds than it did comfort. I am SO much happier now that I have embraced that I am a writer, proudly announce it, and am confident enough to take any fall out that results.

    My second blog is not necessarily anon as I am no longer anon in my regular blogging and it IS linked to my naughty one. Now, the reason for separate twitter, blog, and email is simple. My family and friends who do know about my writing don’t need to be bombarded with my sexy writing (even if it is magnificent). I am able to “let my hair down” as it were on that twitter more and it is fun.

    Anyway…thanks again! 😀

    • Thank you! And yes, of course you’re a FIG, one of the early ones at that.

      For me the anon thing was more about 2 things:

      1. Being able to be as candid as I could muster about “Catherine” and what I felt were her wrongdoings without it seeming libelous and..

      2. I know for a fact that employers do “social media” searches on candidate employees. So you’ll never see my real name appearing on any of these blogs.

      That said, if you really wanted to know who I Really Was, you probably just need to chat with me for a while and I’ll probably tell you 🙂

      Thanks for being here with me!

  4. Pingback: And like that.. it was over. « Divorced D20 Dad

  5. Pingback: Its The Anniversary… of the Other Man | Divorced D20 Dad

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